As a teacher you should always strive for perfection but be satisfied that it’s always just out of reach. Why? Because teaching is a continual journey of improvement. Your journey will be long and never ending. This journey we are on together will be never ending as we are stepping into a land if continual development. If you become stagnated in your teaching, look to change it up. As you would in your everyday life. Be excited to have the opportunity to improve and decide what that improvement looks like. Be excited that you will have that power to choose.
I have found writing down my experiences with training helpful for me, but my journey is different to those before me and those that will come after me. I hope it will be different for the cohort of 2020/21! This pandemic we are all going through has effected our lives so much. If you are a trainee in 20/21 I assume you had your interview over zoom. Zoom is something I had never heard of before March 2020. We carried out the rest of our Friday training over the online platform. 30 of us would meet and then struggle to keep on track with our agenda, our course leader was particularly good at keeping us focussed. I think the fact that we were not all in the same room bouncing off each other’s energy helped her greatly.
The power that I have been given on this journey is unlike anything I have ever felt before. I have never felt empowered or passionate about anything I have ever done. If you look up the definition of vocation, I feel that this applies to me when it comes to teaching, but this is also a profession. You cannot just walk in and start to teach.
For the next few blogs I will go through the teacher standards (something you will learn inside out by the end of your journey) but, for this blog, I just wanted to address the feelings that I have gone through on my journey.
In September, I felt nervous and out of my depth. I felt as if I wasn’t the right person to be able to do this for the rest of my life. I looked at the lesson plans that had been prepared and my head felt like it was exploding with the amount of information that was displayed there. I was wearing a red wide brimmed hat that had “imposter!” embroidered around the brim.
January, my red wide-brimmed had was now just a baseball cap, and on some days I could remove it completely. Now, I had developed an aversion to stepping into a KS4 classroom. When my mentor asked where this aversion had come from, I told her that I didn’t want to “mess up” their exams. She laughed and said that I could always fix any mistakes. My mentor on my 2nd school placement used to say to me “no-one is going to die” or “if no-one dies, it was a good lesson” I laugh about it now, but November me used that as a calming thought!
A colleague of mine had started teaching KS4 since the beginning – which I now feel is a good idea, it’s like the idea of looking at what scares you and doing it anyway. In term 2 I was getting used to the work life balance and I was beginning to enjoy the reading that came with the lessons planning.
March – years 7, 8 and 9 under my belt. I had found an English teacher forum that was running KS4 CPD that excited me. I was beginning to teach Y10, I had roughly 2 weeks under my belt. My red baseball cap was now, metaphorically stuck in the boot of my car, under the kids carry potty that we take on long dog walks.
What I want to make clear is that I do not feel that I have missed out on any training at all. The only thing that I have missed out on is the practice of being on the stage that is being the teacher in the classroom. I think the ‘beauty’ of my situation is that all the other teachers have been on minimal timetables (part time, or not in school at all) and they may be feeling nerves. My mentor, in all her knowledge said to me that she feels nervous after the summer holidays and she has been teaching since the early 00s.
Read this blog and use it as you will. I want you to understand that someone before you has been on this journey and survived it. Teaching is life changing. I think it is also fair to say that the year 2020 is life changing for us all too.